Help with burnout · London · Birmingham · Online
Burnout: what’s going on and how coaching helps
How burnout differs from ordinary tiredness, how it develops over months of pushing through, and what recovery usually involves, including when to see your GP. Written for people who are running on empty, with coaching at 1 Harley Street, in Edgbaston or online once your health has been checked.
Written by Stuart Downing, NLP Master Practitioner and life coach. Reviewed
In short
What it is
Burnout describes physical and emotional exhaustion that builds after long periods of stress, often at work. People also describe feeling detached and less effective.
What helps
Rest that genuinely restores you, an honest look at what drained you, and changes to workload and boundaries so you don’t return to the same conditions.
When to get medical help
Exhaustion can have physical causes, so see your GP. If you feel hopeless or unsafe, call 999, NHS 111 (option 2) or Samaritans on 116 123.
What burnout looks like
Burnout usually creeps up. Tiredness from a busy month is one thing; burnout tends to bring a deeper exhaustion and a sense of distance from work you once cared about. These are the signs people describe, and because they overlap with other conditions, a GP check matters.
- You wake up tired and stay tired, whatever you do at the weekend.
- Work you used to care about now feels pointless or irritating.
- You go through the motions, doing the minimum to get by.
- Small tasks take far longer than they should.
- You feel cut off from colleagues, friends or family.
- You dread Sunday evenings and count down to every break.
- You pick up every cold going, or have aches with no clear cause.
- Holidays help for a day or two, then the exhaustion is back.
How burnout develops
Burnout tends to follow a long stretch of high demand with too little recovery. At first you compensate with longer hours, less sleep, more coffee and fewer evenings off. That works for a while. Eventually the reserves run out, and the effort that once felt like commitment starts to feel like survival.
The Health and Safety Executive describes the signs of stress at work, such as mood swings, withdrawal and loss of motivation, and burnout often sits at the far end of that path. Hours are only part of it. People also burn out in roles where they feel unappreciated, out of step with their values or answerable for things they can’t control.
- Effort without reward. Working hard and seeing no recognition, progress or end point.
- Responsibility without control. Accountable for results while others decide the resources and the timelines.
- Caring without a break. Looking after a team, clients or relatives with nobody looking after you.
- Values under strain. Doing work that sits uncomfortably with what you believe matters.
For a closer look at the difference, read stress vs burnout and signs of burnout in executives. People in senior roles may also find coaching for senior leaders useful.
What I see in coaching
By the time people contact me about burnout, they have often been pushing through for a year or more. Many say they kept waiting for a quieter month that never arrived. The exhaustion is real, but what troubles them most is that they no longer recognise themselves: the person who used to have ideas, humour and patience feels far away.
There is often guilt as well. People feel they should be coping, that colleagues manage the same load, or that stepping back means letting someone down. That guilt tends to keep them going long after their body has asked them to stop, and it can make rest hard to accept even when it is offered.
Recovery usually happens in stages. The first is simply stopping the slide. Only once some energy returns does it make sense to look at what needs to change for the long term.
What helps with burnout
Start by protecting your health. Once the basics are steadier, coaching can help you rebuild. If you are unwell, your GP comes first.
Things to try yourself
Put rest in the diary first instead of fitting it around work. Keep regular sleep and meal times. Spend time each week on something with no goal attached, such as a walk, music or cooking. Notice which commitments drain you most and ask whether any of them can pause.
Tell someone you trust how you really are. If work is the main cause, consider raising it with your manager or HR.
Where coaching helps
Coaching helps once you have some energy back and want to work out what has to change: workload, boundaries, how you say no and whether the role still fits.
It also helps with going back after time off, so the return is planned and the old habits don’t creep back in.
When to see your GP or a therapist
Persistent exhaustion has many possible causes. The NHS explains the common reasons people feel tired all the time, and some need blood tests to rule out conditions such as anaemia. See your GP if exhaustion has lasted weeks, you feel low most days or you can’t function at work.
If you feel hopeless or have thoughts of ending your life, get help today: 999 in an emergency, NHS 111 option 2 for urgent mental health support, or Samaritans free on 116 123.
How I coach burnout
It begins with a free 30-minute call where you tell me how things are. I’ll ask whether you have seen your GP and whether you are still working, because that shapes where to start. If you are too unwell for coaching to be useful yet, I’ll say so.
The early sessions focus on steadying things: sleep, recovery time and the commitments that can pause. Later sessions turn to the causes, such as the workload you accepted, the boundaries that slipped and the beliefs that kept you going, and plan the changes you want before you return or carry on. Most people choose a package of five, eight or twelve 90-minute sessions, with support by email or text between them.
Hypnotherapy can help some people relax deeply when their body seems to have forgotten how. Whether to use it is entirely your choice.
For the coaching itself, see burnout coaching. If evenings and weekends have been lost to work, read work-life balance, and if your sleep has broken down, see insomnia.
Inside a session
Early on, a session might be mostly about the coming week: what you will drop, what rest looks like and how you will protect it. Later you spend more time on the decisions ahead, and leave with a plan that matches the energy you actually have.
Stress and hypnotherapy
An older video on stress and how hypnotherapy can help you step out of the stress response and feel back in control. In coaching I use hypnotherapy only when it suits the person in front of me. Most stress work in coaching is practical: workload, boundaries and recovery time.
Captions are available on YouTube.
Exercises used in sessions
Some of the practical tools you might try, paced to the energy you have.
The energy ledger
A simple daily note of what drained you and what restored you, used to plan the following week.
The pause list
Commitments that could stop for a month without real harm, written down so you can let them go.
Return-to-work plan
A phased plan for going back, with the limits you’ll keep and the early warning signs you’ll watch for.
Common burnout patterns
These are common patterns, not individual client stories. Details always differ, and nothing about any client is shared.
The person everyone relies on
Covering for absent colleagues for months. The work is on a fair load, asking for help and letting some things slip.
The founder who can’t stop
Business and identity fused together. The work is on separating the two and building a life the business doesn’t own.
The carer at both ends
Responsible at work and at home, with no time that belongs to them. The work is on support, limits and small daily recovery.
What clients say
Reviews published on this site, word for word.
The whole experience was fantastic from start to finish! Booking was easy and Stuart had a brief chat with me before I committed to an initial session. He put my mind at ease from the very start. Thank you Stuart, so very much!
Having already had talking therapy previously I found Stuart’s approach fresh and efficient.
Qualifications
- Advanced Master Practitioner of NLP (DNLP)
- Master Practitioner of NLP (MPNLP)
- Psychotherapist (MNACHP)
- Master Hypnotist (DMH)
- EMDR Practitioner
- PSY-TAP Practitioner
- ADHD-CCSP
- Enhanced DBS
Questions about burnout
What is the difference between stress and burnout?
Stress usually involves too much: too many demands and a constant sense of urgency. Burnout tends to feel like too little: little energy, little motivation and a sense that nothing you do makes a difference. Long periods of stress can lead to burnout, which is why acting early helps.
How long does it take to recover from burnout?
There is no fixed timescale. It depends on how long you have been running on empty and what support you have, and many people need weeks or months rather than days. Going back to the same conditions too soon is a common reason for slipping back.
Should I take time off work for burnout?
That is a conversation to have with your GP, who can assess your health and, if appropriate, give you a fit note. Some people recover while working reduced hours or adjusted duties; others need a complete break first. Coaching can help you plan either route.
Can coaching help with burnout?
Coaching can help you understand what led to burnout, rebuild routines and set limits you can keep. It is most useful once your health has been checked and some energy has come back. It doesn’t replace medical care, and I’ll suggest seeing your GP first if you haven’t.
Is burnout only caused by work?
Work is the most common cause people describe, but caring for a relative, running a household alone or long periods of study can lead to the same kind of exhaustion. What matters is a long imbalance between what is asked of you and your chance to recover.
Can I have burnout coaching online?
Yes. When you are exhausted, travelling to appointments can feel like one more demand, so many people prefer Zoom, FaceTime or phone. Online sessions follow the same structure as those in Harley Street or Edgbaston, and you can switch between formats.
Start with a free 30-minute call
You describe the problem. I tell you whether coaching is the right tool and how I’d approach it. If it isn’t, I’ll tell you that too. No obligation, and I reply within 24 hours.
- You send the formName, number and a line or two about what’s going on.
- I reply within 24 hoursBy phone or email, whichever you prefer, to book a time.
- A free 30-minute callYou decide afterwards. No obligation, no follow-up pressure.
Still deciding?
“I highly recommend Stuart. 10/10 experience. Right from the beginning he made me feel so comfortable and he seemed to genuinely care about what I had to say.”