Help with procrastination · London · Birmingham · Online
Procrastination: why you put things off and how coaching helps
Why capable people delay the work that matters most, what is usually going on underneath, and the practical steps that get you started, from things to try today to the point where a coach or your GP can help. Written for people who know exactly what they should be doing and still aren’t doing it.
Written by Stuart Downing, NLP Master Practitioner and life coach. Reviewed
In short
What it is
Procrastination is delaying something you intend to do, even when you know the delay will cost you. It is usually a way of avoiding an uncomfortable feeling, and has little to do with laziness.
What helps
Making the first step small enough to start, working out what the task makes you feel, and building routines that don’t rely on willpower or a looming deadline.
When to get more help
If putting things off is damaging your work or finances, or comes with low mood that won’t lift, talk to a coach or your GP. If you feel unsafe, call 999 or NHS 111 (option 2).
What procrastination looks like
Most people put things off now and then. These are the patterns people describe when it has become a habit that costs them sleep, money or reputation.
- The important report waits while you clear small, easy jobs that feel productive.
- You only start once the deadline is close enough to frighten you.
- You open the document, read it, close it and promise yourself tomorrow.
- Tax returns, difficult emails and medical appointments slide for months.
- You spend longer planning, researching or tidying than doing the work itself.
- Guilt about the unfinished task follows you into evenings and weekends.
Why people procrastinate
Procrastination is usually about feelings more than time. A task that feels boring, confusing, risky or loaded with judgement creates discomfort, and putting it off brings instant relief. The relief teaches your brain that delay works, so the habit strengthens even as the cost grows.
The tasks people delay are rarely random. They tend to be the ones that could expose them: the pitch that might be rejected, the conversation that might go badly, the piece of work that will be compared with someone else’s.
- Fear of falling short. If the result might not be good enough, not starting protects you from finding out. The guide to perfectionism covers this pattern.
- A task with no clear first step. Big, vague jobs such as ’sort the business plan’ give your mind nothing to hold.
- Low energy or low mood. When you are exhausted or flat, everything feels harder to begin.
- Attention that wanders. Long-standing trouble starting and finishing tasks is one of the traits adults with ADHD describe; the page on adult ADHD explains the assessment routes.
For a quick practical read, see how to stop procrastinating and how to stop self-sabotage.
What I see in coaching
People rarely come to me saying they are lazy, although many have been told they are. More often they are capable and conscientious, and the thing they avoid is the one piece of work that matters to them most. The emails get answered and the small fires get put out, while the book, the business plan or the job application waits for a better week that never quite arrives.
When you look closely at a delayed task, there is almost always a reason it feels heavy. Sometimes it is fear of judgement, sometimes it is a task too large to see the start of, and sometimes it is a quiet belief that you shouldn’t need help with something so simple. Working on the timetable alone tends to fail because the feeling is still there each morning.
The good news is that procrastination responds well to small, repeated wins. Once starting becomes ordinary, momentum tends to carry the rest.
What helps with procrastination
Begin with simple changes you can test this week. Coaching helps if the same tasks keep slipping, and a GP is the right call if low mood or attention problems sit underneath.
Things to try yourself
Write the very first physical action on a sticky note, such as ’open the file and type the heading’, and do only that. Work in short timed blocks with a break after each. Do the avoided task first thing, before email has a chance to fill the morning.
Notice what you feel just before you switch away. Naming it (’this feels exposing’) often takes some of the pull out of it.
Where coaching helps
Coaching helps when you understand the advice and still can’t make it stick. Sessions find what the delay is protecting you from and build a way of starting that fits your work.
Accountability matters too. Knowing you will report back by email or in the next session is often enough to make the first step happen. My page on accountability coaching explains that side.
When to see your GP or a therapist
Talk to your GP if you also feel low most days, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, or have long-standing problems with attention. The NHS page on low mood and depression describes the signs to look out for.
Thoughts of harming yourself need urgent support: call 999 or NHS 111 (option 2), or ring Samaritans free on 116 123, at any hour.
How I coach procrastination
It starts simply, with a free 30-minute phone call where you tell me what you keep putting off and what it is costing you. I’ll ask a few questions about your energy, your mood and how long this has been going on, and tell you honestly whether coaching is the right place to start.
This short video sets out the approach. I look for what the delay is protecting you from, then help you make the first step small enough that starting stops feeling like a test, with strategies to keep going once the pressure is off.
Over a programme of five, eight or twelve sessions, you work through the tasks that matter most, one at a time, with support by email or text between appointments. You can meet me at 1 Harley Street or in Edgbaston, or work online if that is easier to fit around the day.
If fear of a bad result drives the delay, the guide on fear of failure goes deeper. If you run your own company, the page on coaching for founders covers the business pressures that feed it.
How to stop procrastinating
This short video sets out how I coach procrastination. I look for what the delay is protecting you from, then help you make the first step small enough that starting stops feeling like a test. You also leave with strategies to keep going once the pressure is off.
Captions are available on YouTube.
Exercises used in sessions
A few of the tools people use to break the habit. Each one is adjusted to your work and checked against what actually happened the following week.
The two-minute start
Committing only to the first two minutes of a task, so beginning feels safe. Most people carry on once they have started.
Feeling, not timing
A short log of what you felt each time you avoided a task, which shows the real reason faster than another to-do list.
Breaking it down
Turning a vague project into a chain of concrete actions, each small enough to finish in one sitting.
Common procrastination patterns
These are common patterns, not individual client stories. Details always differ, and nothing about any client is shared.
The deadline sprinter
Waits for panic to provide the push, delivers at the last minute and pays for it in sleep. The work is on starting earlier without losing the energy.
The busy avoider
Always occupied, rarely on the thing that matters. The work is on protecting a slot for the important task before the small ones take over.
The stalled ambition
A book, a business or a career move that has stayed an idea for years. The work is on the fear underneath and the first visible step.
What clients say
Reviews published on this site, word for word.
The whole experience was fantastic from start to finish! Booking was easy and Stuart had a brief chat with me before I committed to an initial session. He put my mind at ease from the very start. Thank you Stuart, so very much!
Having already had talking therapy previously I found Stuart’s approach fresh and efficient.
Qualifications
- Advanced Master Practitioner of NLP (DNLP)
- Master Practitioner of NLP (MPNLP)
- Psychotherapist (MNACHP)
- Master Hypnotist (DMH)
- EMDR Practitioner
- PSY-TAP Practitioner
- ADHD-CCSP
- Enhanced DBS
Questions about procrastination
Is procrastination a sign of laziness?
Usually not. Most people who procrastinate care a great deal about the task, which is part of why it feels hard. Delay is often a way of avoiding an uncomfortable feeling such as fear of judgement, confusion or boredom, and it responds to practical change.
Why do I procrastinate on things I want to do?
Tasks you care about carry more risk. A personal project or a career move can expose you to failure or criticism in a way routine work doesn’t, so your mind finds safer jobs to do first. Working on that fear usually frees up the action.
Can coaching help with procrastination?
Yes, when the problem is a habit you want to change. Coaching helps you find the reason behind the delay, build a way of starting that suits you and stay accountable between sessions. If low mood or attention difficulties sit underneath, see your GP as well.
Is procrastination linked to ADHD?
It can be. Difficulty starting and finishing tasks is one of the things adults with ADHD describe, but plenty of people without ADHD procrastinate. Only a specialist assessment can tell you whether ADHD is involved, and your GP can refer you.
How many coaching sessions does it take to stop procrastinating?
People often notice a difference within the first few sessions, once one avoided task is moving. Changing a long-standing habit usually suits a package of eight or twelve sessions. I’ll suggest a length on the free call based on what you describe.
Start with a free 30-minute call
You describe the problem. I tell you whether coaching is the right tool and how I’d approach it. If it isn’t, I’ll tell you that too. No obligation, and I reply within 24 hours.
- You send the formName, number and a line or two about what’s going on.
- I reply within 24 hoursBy phone or email, whichever you prefer, to book a time.
- A free 30-minute callYou decide afterwards. No obligation, no follow-up pressure.
Still deciding?
“I highly recommend Stuart. 10/10 experience. Right from the beginning he made me feel so comfortable and he seemed to genuinely care about what I had to say.”